Growing Pains and Spaghetti-o Stains

2011

2011-02-05T21:53:00.000-06:00

Cripes... Where have YOU guys been??   Seriously, I've been here the whole time...

*crickets*

Well, ok... I'm here for my quarterly blog post then, I guess

In true "me" fashion... I don't have the patience to actually formulate a compete blog post, so here's the random run-down...

I hate snow. Like honestly could do with out it for the rest of my life and be perfectly content.

Snowklahoma has had WAY too much of the white stuff lately, 16" since last Tuesday. Another 2" tomorrow and a possible 10" on Wednesday makes me want to pull my hair out.

I wouldn't make a very cute bald girl.

I'm convinced that children have the inherent ability to make snow angels.   I asked AG to make one today and she automatically laid down and flapped her arms. First time angel maker, already knew what she was doing. Amazing.

AG is starting to outgrow some of her "sayings."   I hate that she doesn't say "chocolate milkit" anymore, but my current favorite is "I don't I know" when you ask where something is.

AG will be a big sister in June. She wants to name her new little brother "Sister" and share her stick horse with him.

*note to self: teach AG the importance of keeping sticks (horse or no) away from babies before June*

I know I just did this like 3 years ago, but I don't really remember what it's like to have a baby.

Well, not the physical act of having a baby... I remember that part.   I remember that part all too well.

I wish babies really were delivered by storks.

And by delivered, I mean dropped on your doorstep, not like doctor delivered...   That would make the whole baby-having experience even MORE awkward if there was some strange long-legged bird in the room, wearing a face mask telling me to push.

Word to the wise...

2010-09-30T18:36:00.000-05:00

Avery, while a big fan of whole bananas, absolutely detests half bananas.

It is easy to peel a banana, but impossible to wrap it back up.

Even if you husband has assured you that your outfit is both office and age appropriate, you will misinterpret looks from others all day.

Leggings will always make me think of 1980s maternity wear.

When in doubt about your outfit of choice, try to stand near to someone wearing overalls. You will always look better than someone in overalls.

A person in overalls is a rare find today. Be sure to take full advantage.

Lessons in self-esteem

2010-09-08T19:47:00.000-05:00

Avery: (while pointing to a prominent stretch mark on my hip/thigh) Mommy, Wha ooze dat??

Me: Nothing, but thank you for reminding me not to cross my legs while wearing shorts.

A: Huh?

M: Nothing

A: Wha ooze dat?

M: A sign that I'm a good mother

A: Huh?

M: Nothing

A: Stank?

M: No, that's not a snake!

A: Oh... (long pause) Worm???

If you need me I'll be throwing out every pair of shorts that I own...

String of thoughts...

2010-08-09T19:32:00.000-05:00

Tonight, while eating dinner, I described the texture of my pasta as being play-doh-y. RG felt it necessary to point out that that I didn't really need the "play" prefix. Rude. True, but rude.

I guess that mere seconds before I made that comment, it hadn't occurred to me that "doughy" is indeed, a word.

Less than an hour after making said rude comment, RG was struck with a fever.

I have friends in high places.

Or maybe the fever is because everyone else in our house except RG has had a fever.

Even the bouncy cow.

The Grammercy Chair from Ballard Designs rocks my world.

Subway art is over done, there I said it.

When RG's clothes are in the dryer, it sounds like something is fighting for its life in there.

Speaking of fighting for your life, there was a wasp in the revolving door at my office last week. Leaving for the day was like playing bee sting roulette.

I really don't like bees. or any bugs for that matter.

Snakes count as a bug. So do spiders.

One of those is obviously more logical than the other one.

I'll let you decide for yourself which one.

If you can't decide, maybe we shouldn't be friends.

Or maybe we should...

I'll be the smart friend.

Time to distribute the Tylenol.

Drink FAIL

2010-07-19T21:10:00.000-05:00

Commitment: FAIL

2010-03-04T14:15:00.000-06:00

2 weeks in a row, no Make Me Laugh Monday... I have no excuse except maybe I forgot it was Monday, but I don't know that you can actually FORGET that you weekend is ending and it's back to the grind...

BUT, here is something (someone, rather) who makes me laugh everyday. RG This post in particular cracked me up, because it was an actual event. I just saw a mythical creature! Here's a scene from the car leading up to the event:

RG: Oh my!
Me: What?
RG: You need to slow down
Me: *scanning the road for police/speed traps* Why? I'm not going THAT fast...
RG: No no no no no... Slow down and look into this car you just passed. There's like a Cockatoo or something driving.
Me: What?!? I'm not slowing down... They're going like 10 under.
RG: Do it, Do it. You won't be sorry....

And he was right... I wasn't... and we had a laugh for the rest of the day.

Oopsie!

2010-02-26T13:55:00.000-06:00

I missed Make me Laugh Monday because I've been a little under the weather. I've had a flu-ish sickness that I just can't seem to get rid of... bummer. Sometimes my sneezes scare Avery, like this...

Anywho, I'll be back with some more news and a working link to Avery's birth story. (oopsie again!) I'm off to make a TP scarf. AAAACHHHOOO!

Make Me Laugh Monday

2010-02-15T13:58:00.000-06:00

Agggh... These next 2 weeks already have my stress-level through the roof. Yeesh... I don't want to think about it. Let's laugh instead!!

Awkward...

There's a pretty good chance that since we all were children in the 80s, looking at this website is a little bit scary. Scary in that, one of OUR family photos could easily be on this site. True Story.

Here is my recent fave.

Enjoy!

What would yours say?

2010-02-10T15:40:00.000-06:00

A friend sent me this link today.
I actually haven't made it through the entire video because I have to keep stopping it.
Clients probably wouldn't appreciate if I cried on their documents.
I also saw that Kelly had a post on her blog where she shared her own "Cardboard Testimony".

Make Me Laugh Monday

2010-02-08T23:02:00.000-06:00

Holy Moly! I almost forgot my commitment. That would have been my shortest relationship EVER.

Unless you count the boy in 5th grade who broke up with me after 3 days for couple skating with someone else at PTA Roller Rink night...

Elementary School Drama!

*somewhere in the future, 16-year-old Avery is extremely embarrassed*

Bring on the Funnies!!

Epic Win!

Where am I??

2010-02-08T10:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I get the feeling that I fell asleep and work up in the Artic Circle...

This morning, woke up to snow... AGAIN.

Seriously, 3rd Winter Storm in 45 days. At least it's not supposed to get as bad as last time...

Some people are going on 2 weeks without power.

I'd like to get my hands on that little Groundhog.

The conclusion of pregnant in law school.

2010-02-04T11:27:00.000-06:00

I really struggled with not having a clever title for this series of stories. I briefly considered some, but Junior and Juris seemed like too much of a stretch, so I give up.

If you wanna read it, here's the rest of the story. Part 1 and Part 2

Going back to school after summer break has always been a whirl of emotions. As a kid I can remember not sleeping the night before because I was nervous/excited. Who would be in my class? What am I going to wear? Did I get enough folders for my trapper keeper? I’d always have butterflies in my tummy the first day of school. Going back into my last year of law school was like that, except instead of butterflies, there was a baby. And I didn’t have an awesome trapper keeper.

I decided before I headed back to school that I wasn’t going to tell anyone until I was bigger than a breadbox. I didn’t want anyone to judge. Looking back, I’m not really sure why I thought it was a big deal to keep it secret. I didn’t want professors/classmates think that I did not care about my education, or my grades, or my future career. I wanted people to take me seriously, both as a mother AND as a future attorney.

Keeping baby a secret was hard. Morning sickness was ALMOST done, but I still went to the bathroom a little too often. I’d also developed a habit of not wearing makeup on days I felt subpar. Friends noticed, I told them, and before long, being knocked-up wasn’t so hush-hush.
One day, while waiting for class, “Jane” came up to me in the hallway. “Jane” was known for speaking without a filter.

J: Heard you were pregnant
M: Yes, I am
J: *blank stare*
J: So…. Are you actually going to keep it?
M: *thinking did you REALLY just ask that* Yes..
J: AND still go to school
M: Yes
J: Oh… *look of disapproval*

And with that she walked off. This was still early on in the semester and I thought. Please God… if I get much more of that, I’m going to end up bawling right here in the hallway. To make matters worse, I was convinced that was going to be the feeling of 99% of my classmates.
Not 20 minutes after the “Jane” encounter, someone came up to me and said that “Holly” was also pregnant. “Holly” was also in her last year and not only that, we were in the same study group. I immediately hunted her down to confirm, and we both expressed relief that we weren’t “alone”. There may have been a tiny happy dance in there as well, I can’t be sure.

The semester went on, and I did not tell any of my professors what was going on. By Christmas, I was starting to get a belly, but I just wore bigger sweatshirts. No one said a word. When class started after Christmas, I couldn’t hide the belly much anymore, so I wrote an email to my professors. I got 3 “Congratulations!” and only 1 “I don’t care.”

The day before I was scheduled to be induced, I told my small Estate Planning class (8 people) that I wouldn’t be in class the next week because I was going to have a baby. THREE (all guys, I might add) looked at me in disbelief and said, I didn’t even know you were pregnant. Dude… I’m as big as a house. Really? No idea? Me being the huge preggo found it flattering and the whole class expressed Congratulations.

Avery's Birth Story

To be honest, aside from the “Jane encounter” and the indifference of one professor, the law school community welcomed my pregnancy with open arms. My fear was far and away the worst part of it all. 99.9% of everyone was genuinely happy for me (or, apparently, didn't notice.) Even though I started out thinking that this was the absolute WORST time to have a baby, it ended up being the ABSOLUTE BEST time to welcome baby Avery into our family.

Diaper Days

2010-02-01T21:00:00.000-06:00

Two posts in one day?!?! Don't worry, you didn't miss the rapture!

I thought I'd pass this along to all my fellow mommies.

What if I told you that you could get $50 worth of diapers for $25? Crazy right??

Diapers.com is having a crazy deal right now and here's how you join the crazy diaper party...

1. Go to Diapers.com (DUH)

2. Buy $50 worth of anything on the site - get free shipping. This means everything, diapers, formula, clothes, toys, books, etc

3. Enter code DIAPY313 during checkout and get an additional $10 off your order.

4. Print, fill in, and mail this rebate form . Pay attention to the instructions. You can either receive a free Parenting magazine subscription OR a $14.97 rebate.

That brings your grand total of savings to $24.97. I bought 100 diapers and a couple of diaper genie refills for right at $30. Pampers at Wal-Mart WITH a coupon aren't even that cheap. Trust me, I've spreadsheeted it.

*cue the tumbleweed*

What you guys don't spreadsheet your grocery expenses and savings??

Oh, me neither....

YAY Cheap Diapers!

Make me laugh Monday

2010-02-01T20:13:00.000-06:00

Those of you who know me in real life know that I've been in a funk for quite some time. I decided to post something that makes me laugh every Monday because, ya know, Monday can be a big fat downer most of the time. Here goes my attempt at making a weekly commitment to the blog.

Commitment makes me nervous... my hands are sweaty just thinking about it....

This one is WAY too long, but just watch the first 30 seconds or so.

*I will finish my law school baby story soon! Promise!

The story continues...

2010-01-27T11:19:00.000-06:00

It should be noted that the husband and I aren’t much for talking on the phone in the first place, but it’s even worse when I’m trying not to break the news and keep it secret for another 8 days:

Husband: Hi!

Me: Hi!

H: Have you been crying?

M: *putting on my best I wasn’t crying/sleeping voice* Nope. Just sittin’ here doing nothing.

H: Oh… Ok

M: How was your day? What did you do?

H: Oh, ya know, stuff and things…

M: fun

H: yeah. Sure nothing is wrong?

M: *choking back tears* Yep. Every thing is fine.

And so went the basic conversation over the next week. It was tortuous. Not that I didn’t want to hear from Husband every night, but every time I talked to him, I had to keep my mouth shut.

After the longest 8 days of my life, I went to pick up RG at the airport. I was afraid I was going to let it lose, right there at the baggage claim, but there was enough hustle and bustle to distract RG from noticing I hadn’t said much more than Hi. Thankfully RG gushed about his trip from the terminal, to the parking lot, and the entire way home, so I didn’t have to say anything… yet. I had a plan.

Our 2nd Anniversary passed while RG was on his trip. I’m kooky and follow the “traditional” anniversary gifts. (Hey, I worked at Hallmark in college, give me a break.) Anyway, 2nd Anniversary is cotton: He brought me back a t-shirt and I had bought a Red Sox onesie and wrapped it in a little box:

Husband: *opens box and gets a confused look on his face, like “this is SO not going to fit”*

M: *stares at husband, like… say something*

H: It’s a baby costume…?

M: yeah

H: ….

M: ……

H: Do we NEED a baby costume?

M: yeah… *cue the bawling*

Husband was super excited and came over and gave me the biggest hug ever. I honestly think at that moment, I subconsciously knew everything would work out. He didn’t even notice that he didn’t ACTUALLY get an anniversary present. (I may be calling his attention to that now…Oops!)

The day after I found out I was with child, I had to go back to work. At this time, I worked with two of my best friends, Josh and Danielle. It’s great working with friends, but hard to hide ANYTHING. At this point, morning sickness was pretty much all day sickness. The “something’s wrong with Heather” rumor started pretty quickly… I was constantly running to the bathroom. I didn’t go to lunch with anyone anymore. And I dropped 11 lbs in 6 weeks. I’m pretty sure they all thought I was bulimic.

Sometime before school started in August, I went to Red Robin for lunch with Danielle and Josh. I LOVE the burger with a fried egg on it, so Duh, that’s what I order. I realize as soon as it arrives at the table that this was the wrong decision. There is no way I can eat this without barfing in Danielle’s car on the way back to the office. I resort to cutting the burger into 4ths and end up eating half of a 4th of the burger. (And further adding to the eating disorder rumors.) At this point, Josh, who introduced me to the aforementioned delicious burger, is staring at me in disbelief, and Danielle is also giving me a funny look. I know I have to come clean. I tell them the news, expecting them to ask me what I am thinking because they’re both in school with me. But instead, quite the opposite… there are congrats and hugs all around. Danielle is excited and as a mom of 2 (now 3!) herself, starting discussing all things baby, and Josh was just relieved that he didn’t have to shove the rest of the burger down my throat.

We had already told both sets of parents who we knew would be, and were, OVER THE MOON about the first grandbaby on both sides. The cat was out of the bag… and it was well received… much more so than I had ever imagined…

More to come….

Story Time!

2010-01-21T14:31:00.000-06:00

Ever notice that my blog goes from me being 5 months pregnant, to me being a mother of a 2 month old? That period of time was extremely stressful, yet an incredibly rewarding time of my life. I'm going to write some of it, but in small parts, because, no one likes scrolling to read a blog post! A recent email from a friend has prompted me to share this with you, and offer some encouragement to her, as she is in a similar situation. God's timing is perfect.

Although, most of the time... it doesn't feel perfect.

Part 1: The begining...

July 2007. I can't believe the husband is taking a trip and leaving me "on the farm" for 2 weeks by myself. Up until this point the husband and I have spent no more than a night apart, so 2 weeks may as well been years. I had also recently been chased by a vicious pig (another story for another time) and was a little afraid of staying by myself. I dropped him off at the airport on ridiculously early on Saturday and hurried home to take a nap with Chimichanga (our Chihuahua).

Late that night there was an incredible lightening storm that created a strobe-light effect that made our bedroom look more like Studio 54. I was not doing the robot or any other dance, because I spent the night blowing groceries in the bathroom. (Trust me, I considered several different ways to say that, but that one won out.) Geez... I must of eaten something bad. Half a box of pepto and 3 hours later, I'm asleep.

The next afternoon, I go out to give Swashbuckler (buck) our lab some dog food. (yes, we have strange pet names, what of it). Buck is rather... rambunctious.... And just when I grab his collar, I realize it's too lose and he ducks out of the collar and takes off down the street. After chasing him almost a mile in flip flops, I catch him, collar him and drag him home. I get in the house and immediately start bawling. I’m talkin’ full-blown, ugly cry. What?? Why am I crying?, I ask myself. Am I so out of shape that physical exertion breaks me down? Do I miss the husband this bad after only 36 hours? Am I pregnant?

WHAT?? Where did that last question come from? I didn't seriously think that, did I? Before I can even comprehend where that thought would come from, I’m taking a pregnancy test. While “testing” I’m reading the directions… Ok, so I set it down and check it in 5 minutes. I look at the test, and IMMEDIATELY get 2 lines. That must be wrong, I think. I’ll take a shower and come back in 5 minutes like it says. Shower, still 2 lines… Pace the house, yep, still 2 lines.

What am I doing? I mean, I want babies someday, but now? Going into my last year of law school? That's stressful enough by itself, but childbirth thrown in the mix?? How on earth am I going to do this? Surely this is a mistake… I’m reading this incorrectly. 3 hours, a gallon of water, and 3 “word tests” later… Pregnant, Pregnant, Pregnant.
God will never give you more than you can handle, I chanted over and over to myself while frantically searching Google for “pregnant in law school”. Turns out, this HAD happened before (even though I felt totally alone). There were varied opinions from students between, “this was the best time to have a baby”, to “I dropped out and never went back. My half-empty attitude kicked in, I’ve just wasted 2 years and thousands of dollars. Law school was definitely not a highlight of my life, so I knew that if I dropped out, I would never go back. Anyone who said this was the best time to have a baby was clearly delusional, or independently wealthy, I reasoned. To make matters worse, to co-producer of the baby now in my belly was 2 time zones away, and this isn’t exactly the kind of news you break over the phone.

To be continued….

Just in case some one reads this besides my mom...

2010-01-12T13:53:00.000-06:00

Leave a comment, ask a question, let me know you're out there so I can read your blog too!

P.S. Hi Mom!

Resolutions for Type-A people

2010-01-11T14:55:00.000-06:00

I'm a ~~weird~~ complex individual...
If you saw the state of my house right now.. the mounds of laundry... the toys haphazardly tossed about the living room (maybe a few in the toy box), you might call me a slob; or, if you were nicer "extremely laid back".
If you saw my planner, with appointments and tasks scheduled down the half hour, you might call me meticulous; or if you were meaner, anal.
I think it drives the husband crazy that I’m a mixture of the two extremes. I may leave a pair of jeans in the closet floor for a week, but the world might come crashing down if the green beans are in the wrong place in the pantry. (Ok, maybe I’m not THAT complex… but you get the idea.)
I can never stick with New Years resolutions because they’re too ‘abstract’ for me. There are no deadlines, no consequences… they’re just a little too slack for me. So, I was excited when I came across this…
101 Goals in 1001 Days
Goals with deadlines… complete with a brainstorming ideas and print outs… Be still my list-making heart!!

If you’re like me and can’t function without a to-do list, you might want to check it out. You can even make rewards/consequences for meeting/not meeting all your goals.
I’m still in the process of making my list and plan to start my 1001 days later this week. I haven’t decided whether I’ll post my list, I guess it depends on how personal it gets. HA! Maybe I’ll add “ease up about the green beans” to the list… Husband would probably appreciate it.

Living in the boonies has it's drawbacks...

2010-01-04T13:52:00.001-06:00

Like, super slow internet connection. Yes, it's awful. *throws pity party*

I was doing a year end/Christmas post and I went to upload the first picture...

5 minutes later, still uploading.....

I go get a snack, still uploading...

I eat a snack, still uploading....

I throw a snack at the computer, still uploading...

I go to put a snack away, TIMED OUT!

How Rude!

So, I'm planning on putting some of the pics on my flash drive and posting them on my lunch break.

Speaking of snacks... here are some of my favie snacks while you wait for the glorious aforementioned post.

This one is from my momma. I insist she make this at every family gathering. Last time she sent some home with us, I ate it before poor RG even got a taste!
Cranberry Jalapeno Dip

1 (12-ounce bag) or 3 cups fresh cranberries, rinsed and drained
3 small jalapeno chile peppers, cored, seeded and minced
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves, minced
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese

Rinse, drain, and pick over cranberries, (discarding all that are soft or bruised). Place them in a food processor; pulse until finely chopped but not mushy.
Place crushed cranberries in a bowl; mix together with jalapeno peppers, sugar, cilantro leaves. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 4 hours so flavors develop (This is important... if you try and eat it now... it's supa soua!)
If you're Ryan: On a serving plate, place cream cheese; cover with the dip. Serve with Wheat Thins. Act prim and proper.
If you're me: Place softened cream cheese in a bowl. Dump that cran-peno goodness on top. Stir it all together until it looks like pink mush. Eat a ridiculous amount of delicious pink mush on each Wheat thin. Don't leave any for husbands.

This next recipe I made for some Christmas goodies. I made 5 goodies in one night... then, as if on cue, AG woke up and sprayed spaghettio's all around her room. That was a SUPER long night. (Puts a whole new meaning behind the blog name, huh) Ok now, who's hungry?!?!
Spicy Pretzels

15 oz Bag of Small Pretzels
3/4 c. Canola or Vegetable Oil
1 pkg Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
2 tsp Cayenne Pepper*
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1.5 tsp Lemon Pepper

*You can add another teaspoon of cayenne pepper if you'd like your pretzels REALLY hot. Or, you can scale it back. I have to admit, I made these with 2tsp, and it melted my face off, but they were still really good. I'll do 1.5tsp next time. You could also omit it all together and I think they'd still be delicious.
Mix together seasoning and oil. Place pretzels in large ziploc bag (the gallon size works for one batch), add seasoning mix, and toss periodically for 12-24 hours before serving.

Happy Snackin'!

Sorry Mike...

2009-12-24T13:37:00.000-06:00

So, God decided that dogging weathermen was not so Christmasy, so he sent a blizzard. Sorry Mike Morgan, but in the future, if you could tone it down just a notch, I'd appreciate it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Mike Morgan is a drama queen.

2009-12-23T10:32:00.000-06:00

I apologize for all of you "out of towners" who get to hear my rant against local weathermen. I should preface this by saying that I, like all good Oklahoma-bred children, were taught that Gary England IS the supreme authority on all things Oklahoma weather related. I believe this with all my heart. I *stormcloud* Gary England.

Have you ever noticed that Mike Morgan is just wound a little too tight when it comes to weather. Seriously, if it's April or May, and you want to watch something on NBC, Fughetta 'bout it. Mike Morgan will be on there flappin his yap about dime sized rain drops in some county 80 miles away. He preempts more tv shows than any other network weatherman around here.

That's why when channel 9 preempts something, you know it's serious. If Gary breaks in, it's to say... Get off your hiney and get in the 'fraidy hole because your house might blow away.

Anyway, same rule applies to winter weather. I know we get some nasty ice storms, but I remember last year when Mike Morgan predicted 1-3" of ice and it didn't even rain... All it did was make everyone rush to the store like it was the apocalypse and stock up on canned goods and bottled water, while it takes me 30 minutes to make it out of the store with some toilet paper. Last night, MM said that there was a "100% possibility of a winter storm". (Isn't there always a 100% possibility?) Meanwhile, the weatherman in shining armor said only a 80% chance of precipitation (not even snow for sure) and nothing about accumulation.

Mr. Morgan came out with this prediction today....

And guess who's out of toilet paper...

Saving you the embarrassment...

2009-12-10T11:30:00.002-06:00

It's been cold the past couple of days... I'm sure my "northern" friends are laughing at me, but the wind chill yesterday morning was -5. I wore so many layers I could barely get my pants buttoned. (At least, I'm telling myself it's because of the layers.)

Yesterday, I was pulling out of the parking lot to go home when husband called. I took my glove off to answer my phone (iphone drawback) and quickly put it back on because it was sooooo cold. We finished the conversation and rather than take my glove off again to hang up the phone, I quickly brainstormed my other options to end the call... (Unfortunately "just wait until he hangs up and the phone disconnects" wasn't one that came to mind at the time.)

Just so you know, you can't hang up the iphone with your nose.

But, you're welcome, to all those people who watched my attempt to do so in 5 o'clock traffic yesterday. I'm sure it was amusing.

A is for Apple

2009-12-08T15:20:00.001-06:00

The other day, I was reading to Avery from a past issue of Elle Decor (ok, so we were just looking at pictures) when we stopped on a 2-page spread of a kitchen.

Apple! Avery exclaimed. I looked all over the double page and didn't see any apples. Interested to see what she thought was an Apple, I asked where were the apples. In the bottom corner, barely visible was a tiny bowl filled with apples.

My first reaction was, "Whew, she's not blind like her daddy." (Ha! Love you Husband!) and secondly, this girl is obsessed with apples.
Apples are the second most requested food for little A, right behind cheerios (which actually sounds more like "turtle" when she says it). Heaven forbid if she's in the kitchen when you open the refrigerator door and she happens to see an apple in the crisper. APPLE APPLE APPLE!!   Mommy, APPLE! Dada, Apple! APPLE!!! So needless to say we are never short on apples around here.

Since honeycrisp apples (our favorite) are in season, we've been buying the 3-lb boxes so that we always have them on hand. And even though Avery could eat apples everyday, I get tired of them and look for ways to spruce them up.

Here's one of my favorite apple dips... cream cheese makes almost everything better.

Carmel Apple Dip

1 pkg. (8 oz.) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened (Neufchatel Cream Cheese works well too)
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1/2 tsp. vanilla

BEAT cream cheese in small bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until creamy. Add brown sugar and vanilla; beat until well blended.

SPOON into serving bowl.

SERVE with apple wedges for dipping.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear...

2009-12-07T13:25:00.000-06:00

Forget what you learned from Buddy the Elf... it's not true... Now, it may be true if the statement was "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear in the proper venue." I could go along with that.

However, singing loud Christmas carols is NOT the best way to spread Christmas cheer when you're singing at the top of your lungs in Target while meandering down the baking aisle at a snail's pace when I'm creeping behind you just praying I can get to the unsweetened cocoa before you get to the chorus of Jingle Bells.

*Warning: Going into a store to pick up 4 things and spending over an HOUR trying to get around people standing/singing in the middle of aisles may cause Bah Humbug-ness.

About time...

2009-11-18T22:12:00.000-06:00

So, I finally built a bridge and got over my anger at the internets eating my first halloween post attempt. I won't lie, this is probably going to be the readers digest of the first version, because well... Bloggy just hasn't earned my trust yet.... "Draft saved" isn't enough for me anymore...

Moving right along *snap snap* (Phi Theta shout out) On to the halloween pictures!

The weekend before Halloween, my parents came to visit. Since we were not sure of our Halloween plans, we decided to do a costume dress rehearsal so Nana and Poppy (or Puppy) could see the cute little zebra.

I even added a bow so everyone would know that she's a GIRL zebra.

Pretty successful costume experience... no tears or attempts at undressing.

Then came the fall carnival at Avery's daycare. The kids were encouraged to dress in their costumes. However, something had changed in the last 5 days and we ended up like this...

Mad/Sad Zebra

Then came the Great Pumpkin Festival. Avery is obsessed with all things pumpkin. Upon arrival she went charging towards a pile of pumpkins screaming "Punkin Punkin Punkin!!!!" Ryan sang, Avery got a tatoo, good times were had by all.

The Pied Piper for the Children of the Corn.

The "punkin" tatoo which she LOVED.

*side note* Do you know how HARD it is to take a picture of a toddler's hand?!? I mean, I spent a good half hour chasing her around and this was the best shot I got.

Then on Sunday, we decided to make the trek to D-town to go to my home church's trunk-or-treat. But when Avery heard she'd have to wear the costume again she wasn't happy.

I promised her that I wouldn't make her wear the hood, and she went along with it.... mostly.

I can't believe you're making me do this AGAIN!

Who knew colored rice was so much fun?!?

I have many more pictures, but my internet connection has to walk knee-deep in the snow both ways to get us on the world wide web, so it makes uploading pictures a royal pain. (Now you see why the blog and I had a lover's spat?)

Dang it...

2009-11-10T14:33:00.000-06:00

I FINALLY made my halloween post.... and then the internets ate it.

RUDE!

It's like real life Etsy!!

2009-11-05T16:20:00.000-06:00

I reeehhheeealllly wanna go to this on Saturday, but I think my day is pretty booked... Someone please go and tell me all of the beautiful things you found. And, while you're there, eat an Irma's burger and a Mary Poppins cupcake from Cuppies and Joe for me... but don't tell me about those... I might punch you in a fit of jealousy. *really missing the City right about now*

The Girlie Show

PS. I saw that Jessica totally called me out about the lack of Halloween posting. Pops just emailed me some pictures from the weekend, so that post is coming tonight or tomorrow. For everyone else who really wants some fall time cuteness, check out Parker in his adorable little man sweater. Seriously, I'm dying from cute overload!

Halloween pictures are forth coming...

2009-11-02T16:14:00.002-06:00

While you wait, here is something delicious to eat... !Me Gusta Comer!

Tamale Pie
1 pound ground beef
1 packet taco seasoning
1 can whole kernel corn, drained
1 can Rotel
1 cup chopped green bell peppers
3 cups (6oz can) French fried onions
1 package corn muffin mix (plus everything you need to make the corn muffin mix)
½ cup shredded cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Brown beef in large skillet; drain. Stir in taco seasoning, corn, rotel, bell peppers, and 1 ½ cups fried onions. Pour mixture into 2-quart oblong baking dish. (or an 8x8 pan)

Prepare corn muffin mix according to package directions. Spoon batter around edge of dish. Bake, uncovered, 20 minutes* or until corn bread is golden. Top with cheese and remaining 1 ½ cups onions.
Bake, uncovered 1 minute or until onions are golden.

*I ended up baking it for more like 25-30 min. before the cornbread was done, but I'm begining to think my oven has issues.

(a note: if you do not like spicy food, or have small children who will be eating this, you might want to use the mild Rotel. That said, my 19 month old ate this like there was no tomorrow. She didn't mind the spice, I guess.)

Jealous????

2009-10-28T09:56:00.003-05:00

You should be.

Momma, was I two when I was born??

2009-10-27T12:06:00.001-05:00

This is what I imagine my daughter saying to me one day... and it makes me sad.

Little A was born into my whirlwind of a life. She was born on the Thursday of Spring Break in my final semester of law school. I was back in class a week later, and back at work a month after that. After graduation, I spent the next two months studying, stressing, and crying over the bar exam. After the bar exam, I spent the next 6 weeks stressing out over the fact that a single test (that I was sure I flunked) would determine my professional future.  When we finally thought the "hard times" were over, I found myself among the unemployed in May.
Ya know what though?? Everyone told me that having a baby is stressful. In most cases, that's probably true, but for me, Avery was a breath of fresh air. She calmed my nerves and made me blissfully happy. She is exactally what I needed and came at the perfect time.

We would try to schedule family pictures around BarBri classes and RG's summer schedule. We'd say, Oh, we'll go to the park and take pictures, but it was such a hectic time, that we didn't get to do many of the things we wanted, much less take pictures. We DID manage to take some pictures though, of just everday life.... And then our computer ate them.    Crashed, hard-drive destroyed... pictures, videos of the first few days, gone forever.

I cried.  I'd cry again right now, but I'm at work.... and, Fergie says big girls don't cry.

Thankfully, I had already printed some pictures from snapfish and we have pictures taken in the studio for Christmas and whatnot. But I still feel awful that we lost some of those early pictures and videos.

So, my new years resolution (2 months early) is to take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. And print those bad boys off!! A changes so much everyday that I don't want to miss a thing!

On that note, here are a few pictures of baby A for you to enjoy!

Graduation Day - 2 months old

First Rice Cereal - 4 months old

Shocking! 4 months old

First OU Game - 6 months old

8 months old

Christmas Pictures 2008 - 8 months

Dear Oklahoma Wind:

2009-10-20T13:36:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know you've got a reputation to uphold. What, with being included in the first line of the state song, I realize you've got some pretty big shoes to fill. I honestly don't mind you "sweeping down the plain" (preferably on days that I am not wearing a skirt) on occasion. Sometimes you even help relieve some of the outrageous summer heat. But let's be honest...

You're not a tornado
You're not a hurricane

Could you please stop pretending to be something you're not? I realize that other wind related disasters get all the press and maybe you're just starved for attention, but seriously, the gale force winds for days on end have got to stop. Making my car door almost impossible to open and threatening to strew the contents of my file folder across the city is completely unacceptable. Also, "rats nest" is not a hairstyle I'm particularly fond of, so if you could leave my hair alone as well, I'd be much obliged.

Once you calm down, I'd be happy to discuss the possiblity of potraying you in a better light, as a producer of energy, rather than a wrecker of semis and high-profile vehicles.

Thank you for your attention to this matter and I hope to hear less from you soon.

Warning: Domestic Deliriousness Ahead

2009-10-05T16:39:00.000-05:00

I love to cook. (Mom, you can get up off the floor now. I know you thought I'd never say that. Also, this doesn't mean that I want you to stop bringing me those delicious peanut butter things when you visit! Just so we're clear.)

It's true... I went from living off of a diet of sandwiches and cereal in college to becoming a full on Suzy Homemaker. I've gotten better at it too, especially compared to a rather unfortunate Broccoli Beef incident about 4 years ago that I don't think my husband will ever let me live down.

One thing I DON'T like about cooking, is weeknight cooking. When I don't get home until 6ish and Avery goes to bed at 8pm, I'd rather spend every second of those two hours trying to get a slobbery kiss, not making dinner. I try my best to have quick dinners or cook on the weekends and have leftovers M-F.

That's why when I stumbled across this blog, I almost peed myself with excitement.

Crock Pot Mania

This WONDERFUL woman cooked in her crockpot everyday... for A YEAR.

A. YEAR.

And then she shared all of her recipes on her blog, so that ~~blog stalkers~~ busy moms like me can "borrow" them. The recipes are really diverse too! Not just Roast and other typical crockpot meals. The Mongolian Beef is calling my name because I haven't had the Chang since the Hatches moved back west. I will have to make it soon. Now, because of this fantastic blog, I will be adding much slow-cooking goodness to my arsenal. And sneaking in a few more slobbery kisses.

Check it!

I'm crazy brown, furry, animal... gimme some CANDY!

2009-10-01T16:35:00.001-05:00

Something to note about me: I either do things incredibly early... or never. Case in point: I bought Avery's 1st Christmas ornament in AUGUST, but waited around so long that the only Christmas decor that made it up in the house was our tree. I can't remember when we actually put it up, but it was late enough that I didn't bother to put up any other decorations because I didn't want to repack them in a week.

It should come as no surprise that I'm already freakin' out about halloween costumes. The problem is, I live in Oklahoma. You never know whether it's going to be 40 or 80 on Halloween until October 30, and even then, it's a crapshoot.   I thought surely that when I bought My little stinker's costume last year that it would be chilly enough to wear fleece. I was sorely mistaken.  It was 80 last year, and poor A spent a sweaty half-hour at most in that costume. She later ended up pantless, in a church, wearing a onesie with a devil on it, but that's a different post entirely.

Not wanting to shell out much money for a costume that may or may not be worn, I've been browsing ebay. There were plenty of costumes, from princesses to peacocks, and some for less than $10. I came across a posting for a rare brown, furry animal costume. I thought, "oh, come on now.... at least make a guess as to what it is. How can you not know what kind of animal a costume is?" Short ears = bear, long ears = dog, no ears = gopher.  But DangIt, if it was a marketing ploy, it worked. Putting "RARE" in the title with no accurate description of what kind of animal it may be sucked me in.  I had to see the costume.   What if it were a sasquatch costume? Now, THAT would be rare, for sure.

Well, there is no "head" to the costume. I looked at the picture of the body and instinctively thought, Duh, that's a bear! And then saw the picture of the back of the costume... A bear with a horse? tail?   What WAS that?  A horse, a bear, some mythical creature I don't even know about?     Maybe "furry, brown animal" wasn't such a bad description after all.

What do YOU think that is?

Under Construction...

2009-09-29T09:54:00.003-05:00

The ole blog needs a major overhaul. But seeing as how I'm ~~incredibly lazy~~ no good with html, it's going to take a little more time.

Here's a brief run-down of whats new:
- my 3 month unemployment streak finally ended at the beginning of September. We will still be on a diet of ramen and crackers for the next 6 months to catch up on past due bills. We're also accepting all dinner, wedding, and other invitations at which there will be "heavy hors d'oeuvres" served. Just FYI
- I joined a firm in Husband's hometown. The inlaws live here and in some instances my name proceeds me. (which in all cases has been a good thing). I'll have to do my best to protect the family reputation and not become an In-law-out-law-at-law.
- The commute is much better. Same distance, but I shave at least 30 minutes off of the commute time. I actually have to worry about the possibility of speeding tickets.
- I do miss the city though. I miss the lunch friends and I hate being far away from A's daycare. But honestly, more than a few feet away is too far to be from this:

Serrrriously....

2009-08-29T19:58:00.002-05:00

I know this blog needs some major updating... The headline no longer applies, the picture is almost a year and a half old, etc. etc. I have plans on doing a major blog overhaul sometime in the near future. (It should also be noted that I had plans to clean my house, top-to-bottom, while I was unemployed. I vacuumed and did some laundry. Close enough.) So, we'll see. Also, does that mean I'm no longer unemployed??? Stay tuned...

I wanted to post this link to a spectacular blog post I came across. It totally makes me want to bring my sewing skills up to par before Avery gets older.

http://pamily.blogspot.com/2009/08/fall-collection-in-progress.html

I mean, does it get anymore adorable than that?!? LOVE IT!

Chh Chhh Chhh Changes

2009-07-07T22:01:00.002-05:00

My life is currently undergoing (or, is hoping to undergo?) some major changes. I know it's been a month+ since I have blogged, but I will return.... in time... with some blog worthy news.

Don't worry, I'm pretty good about reading your blogs... just not updating my own!

Follow me... insert Uncle Craker song here

2009-05-20T12:48:00.003-05:00

So, I'm finally on twitter... Although, I'm no better at twitter than I am at blogging...

http://twitter.com/silentgharde

Tagged...

2009-02-21T21:52:00.004-06:00

So, I was "tagged" to go to the 4th file under "my pictures" and post the 4th picture out of the 4th file...

This is a picture of my dad and I, right before he walked me down the aisle. There is just something about this picture that I love. It is one of my favorite wedding pictures.

Now, I tag everyone reading this... that's right, everyone. Lemme see your pictures, ya'll!

Don't sell your sole to the devil...

2009-02-03T21:54:00.004-06:00

Now, I loves me some fashion, but often times it's more in theory than in practice. Heaven knows, I've ran to Wal-Mart sans makeup in sweats with hair a mess more than a few times. Heck, I even occasionally wear t-shirts to the office. Yet, I gush over the adorable dresses in fashion magazines, and watch "What-Not-To-Wear" only to turn around and commit the same sins they just scolded against. (Hey, I know that oversize hoodie is doing nothing for me.)

However, even I have boundaries... namely, my shoes.

That's right, fashion will win over function every time when it comes to my footwear. Fashion trumps comfort... In some cases fashion trumps moderate to severe discomfort.

Often times my husband watches in horror as I apply numerous band-aids to my feet to protect against the blisters that my adorable peep-toes are undoubtedly going to create. He tries to understand why I wouldn't just throw away something that causes me enough pain that I beg him not to park more than a block away from our destination. My answer is simple, These shoes are SOOO cute!

So, when I recently saw someone wearing these, I just thought... Those must be those shoes that people have to wear when one leg is longer than the other.

Then, I happened to hear the shoe wearer tell her friend, "These are my new weight-loss sneakers!"
What??? You are voluntarily wearing shoes that look like they are made for an anime cartoon character???

I don't know if it's a case of New Year's resolutions, but the influx of these shoe sightings is alarming. Today at lunch, 20% of the patrons were wearing them!! (So what if there were only 10 people in the store.) Even more alarming is that these shoes run about $250!!!!!

Ladies, $250 will buy you AT LEAST 2 nice pair of stilettos. Wear a pair of those for a day and tell me that your calves aren't killing you the next morning. Now, that's a pair of shoes that will give you a workout AND won't make you look like Herman Munster's sister.

Just forward my next 3 paychecks to Target...

2009-01-12T15:10:00.004-06:00

I'm so excited!!! Orla Kiely is coming to Target!! She's one of my favorite designers. I had some big plans to make a bulletin board using some of her fabric and some other small projects... that was, until I found out her fabric retails for around $70.00 a YARD!!

So, imagine my delight when Target announced that her line of housewares, orginizational products, and decor will be in target stores around the first week of February. YAY!!!

To You and Yours...

2008-12-25T16:11:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas from the Glazes

Sneak Peek!

2008-12-10T22:46:00.008-06:00

I'm waiting to post our "Christmas Card Picture" until after they're sent out, since most of you reading this will be recieving one. (Provided, I have your address!)

Tyler and Hillary took some family pictures for us during T-giving in Chix. I'm going to post a few of my favorites. They did such a good job! Thanks Uncle Ty and Aunt Hill!

Crazy Legs McGee

2008-11-26T23:17:00.005-06:00

Ever since AG was "in being" she's been a kicker. I blame her wild appendiges for my crippling rib pain during pregnancy. She had a leg up by her face when she made her entrance into this world, for crying out loud. If she's in the baby bjorn, she looks like she's doing an aerial number from "Riverdance". She now kicks you in the chest and when you say "Ow!", she laughs in your face. You can hear her kicking to keep herself awake through the monitor at bedtime. Changing a diaper has become a three-handed job. One thing's for sure, this girl's got crazy legs.

Today, she introduced the world to "Crazy legs" by insisting on being pushed around in her stroller like this...

(the slipping off "shoe-socks" add to the crazy effect)

This pose elicited a response from everyone that passed by, whether it was a slight smile or a "My, she looks comfy" comment. AG was quite pleased with all the attention and took a break from chewing on the harness straps to give the on-lookers a slobbery smile and occasional coo. (The camera recieved no such break from the strap chewing, obviously.)

Some Light Dinner Conversation...

2008-11-15T23:43:00.003-06:00

I love our chats over smashed peas and applesauce...

My little stinker...

2008-11-10T21:48:00.008-06:00

Finally, Halloween pictures!!

Avery wasn't too sure about her costume anyway, but it ended up being 80 degrees and the costume was made of fleece. So, it didn't last long, but here are some pictures we snapped before she roasted.

Can I get an opinion?

2008-11-04T19:50:00.004-06:00

I love the late 90s Coldplay... not the current Coldplay. D and I had a conversation about this a couple of weeks ago. Somewhere circa 1998-2000 my musical taste stopped evolving. Don't get me wrong, I still like an artist here or there, but out of my all time favorite albums, at least 2 of them are from the late 90s. "Parachutes" is easily my favorite album EVER. "Rush of Blood to the Head" was excellent, but not as incredible as parachutes. "X&Y" was a big fat disappointment to me. I didn't even bother to buy it on itunes.

My questions are, first, Are any of you Coldplay fans? If so, What do you think of Viva La Vida? I can tell you I'm underwhelmed with the title track that is currently played on the radio. So, should I bother checking it out? What do you all think?

* if you are a Coldplay/Chris Martin fan, you should definitely check out a song called "Your love means everything pt. 2" by Faultline (feat. Chris Martin). Magical

In case you haven't heard...

2008-10-10T20:37:00.004-05:00

As you may have noticed, I'm not so good with the blogging. Maybe I'll get better, maybe I'll get worse. Accept it and move on.

I realized that I've had a major life change since the last blog. I'm now officially a baby lawyer. That's right folks, I'm now licenced to be in charge of your legal future... bring it on!

I'm actually very excited. Things have been going well. I've already made one courtroom appearance and have another next week.

J,J, and D are all baby lawyers as well... we went 4 for 4 on passing the bar the first try... Hooray!

Us, Minus one J and plus A

Avery Update

2008-09-16T21:02:00.006-05:00

Today was Avery's 6 month check up/shots (boo). She is 15lbs 3oz which puts her in the 32% of weight and is 29 inches long which puts her off the charts on height (99%).

It was a little chilly in the am, so she got to wear her jean jacket. It's a 0-3 month size and still swallows her whole. Well, except for the sleeves

She's also in love with my phone. (Prediction? I hope not) Here, she has my phone in one hand, and her bottle in the other. I just snapped the picture, didn't even have to aim. She's better at self-portriats than I am, and I use two hands.

We had to wait an ungodly amount of time in the actual room today, so things got a little out of hand. She really enjoys the way paper crinkling sounds. This picture was taken before I put her back on the table and she then managed to tear a hole in the paper and stick her foot through it. For Christmas, Avery would like 16 tons of tissue paper.

Gimmie Nuggies!

2008-09-06T21:26:00.002-05:00

How can the students at Cincinnati University NOT crave chic-fil-a every day of their lives with a logo like this?

Avery loves the Olympics

2008-08-20T21:52:00.002-05:00

Avery was getting really excited about the Olympics this evening. She straightened out her arms and legs and made hyperventilating sounds. It was quite amusing. However, Avery is still camera shy, so I have to try and sneak attack her with the camera because she freezes when she sees the camera. Also, the video was taken with our digi cam, not the video cam, so the resolution isn't that great... but here ya go!

I'm with him...

2008-08-13T23:09:00.005-05:00

In staying with RG's latest post, I've decided to blow off some steam and make a list as well. These are in no particular order.

10 Things that Irritate Me

1. The fact that David Letterman insists on wearing white socks with dark suits and black shoes. Doesn't the man have a stylist? Shouldn't he be one of the LAST people to be committing this crime against fashion?

2. People who think they are more important than they really are. Seriously, get over yourself.

3. People who don't return their carts to the "cart corral" at supermarkets, and decide instead to leave the carts next to their (read: my) car. An extra 20 steps isn't going to kill you.

4. That my burrito from taco bell never looks like the burrito in the commercials. Instead, my burrito most closely resembles a wadded up sock at the bottom of a laundry hamper with taco sauce and cheese oozing out the sides and soaking through the wrapper.

5. People thinking that "taking the bar" is synonymous with "passing the bar". I already feel like I failed, but your added pressure of "Oh, I'm sure you passed" makes me feel like a SUPER LOSER when I don't pass.

6. Predictive text on the IPhone. Slang is IMPOSSIBLE.

7. My incurable addiction to Sonic Raspberry Sweet Tea.

8. Trying to find a parking meter downtown within 10 blocks of the courthouse.

9. People in the "right turn lane only" lane by our house that insist on trying to go straight in that lane. I guess they assume that because the paint is wearing off that the rule no longer applies.

10. Whistling

Aunt TT tells the best secrets

2008-08-11T01:24:00.002-05:00

Holy ding!!

2008-07-14T19:32:00.001-05:00

Why do RG and I find this so funny??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnkPje4Tl7k

Because RG and HG are great at being awsome!!

2008-02-03T23:59:00.000-06:00

So, RG and I discovered that our brilliant Chihuahua knows some more tricks...

After RG said, "Hello" and realized that elicited a bark from Chimi every time he said it (out of like, 10 times)... we proceeded to see what other words made Chimi speak as well.

After 15 minutes and a good 60 words later, we found that "Spaghetti Sauce" gets TWO barks!

So we tried alternating Hello with Spaghetti Sauce and we got a respective one and two barks each time...

This we found to be quite amusing and we were both laughing hysterically for a good 10 minutes. If you are our friends, expect this trick to become a regular fixture in Chimi's repertoire.

(I know you are all living vicariously... Don't be jealous of my incredibly exciting life!)

A new low...

2008-01-30T00:52:00.000-06:00

Today, I wore Ryan's clothes....

.... to work.

This pregnancy business is starting to get old.

Quick update!

2007-12-04T15:10:00.000-06:00

So, I'm bad at blogging apparently... actually, I'm just really lazy. I'm in the middle of finals, so I decided it was a great time to blog! I'd rather do anything than memorize the tax code... BLAH. Here's a bulleted list of new news because, well, I'm too lazy for detail.

Baby Glaze is a GIRL!! At first, I thought it might be a girl... I don't really know why... but then someone said they thought I was having a boy, so I got stuck on boy. So, I was actually kind of surprised when they said girl!
We're pretty sure it's a girl. From the angle on the ultrasound (to quote Ryan) there wasn't really any place to hide the frank and beans.
I'm in the middle of finals, so maybe there will be a more informative/humorous post in late December... You can hope anyway.

It's baby Avery!

And she's got nothing to hide!

Large and in charge

2007-10-10T22:41:00.001-05:00

*Warning* Explicit material... read at your own risk. Especially men who don't really want to know the ins and outs of what goes on at an OB visit.

So, I went to my last doctors appointment on Tuesday. You know what I hate about doctors offices? Your appointment is at say, 9am. You get there at 8:45... sit in the waiting room until 9:30 and finally get called back about an hour after you get there. The nurse weighs you and whatnot... then you go sit in the room to see the dr. for another 30 minutes. This is all the more uncomfortable when your at the lady doctor and the 30 minutes in the room by yourself you're sitting in what looks like the left over material from grandma's quilting basket.

I will admit at Lakeside, they give you a "pink party dress". This is nice because there is no question about how it goes on. You're fully covered and you sit there as comfortably as you can knowing the impending doom.
At my doctor, there is no dress. When I go in the room, the lady tells me "pink is the top and black is the bottom". I can't really tell what it looks like because it's neatly folded on the table.

So, I decide that I'm going to investigate how exactly these garments work before I disrobe. Boy, am I glad that I did!! Never in my life have I been more confused about what went where. By checking these out ahead of time I saved myself a good 15 minutes standing around buck naked looking stupid, holding up fabric and looking for an arm hole, something, anything that looked familiar.

The top looked like one of those "barber smocks" that the lady who cuts your hair puts around your neck. Ok, I think, I know where my head goes... but do I wear it like a cape? It has no snap or anything, so does the opening go in the back or the front? Once I put it on I discover that it will wrap around me twice, so I opt for the scarf approach and throw the two flaps over my shoulders. This gives me the most coverage considering the length of my "cape scarf" hit me at about the belly button. (I later realize that this was not the best approach, as the doctor has to "unwind" me for the exam.)

The bottoms... well that's another story. The "bottoms" (if you can even call it that) unfolded is just a square of fabric. At first I think I can wear it like a towel and tuck in the ends. No biggie, I think, and I start to wrap the bottoms around my waist. The fabric looked larger before I put it around me. I now realize the bottoms are about the size of a hand towel; there will be no wrapping. So now comes the realization... I'm going to have to sit my bare butt on that table?!?! Bare butt is MUCH better than the alterative to leave the opening on the other side. So, I cinch that baby as tight as I can get it and waddle over to the table and hop up. I must say, I covered most of me... which was quite a feat considering what little I had to work with.

So there I sit... in my tablecloth scraps. Waiting, Waiting... My leg is starting to go to sleep (probably because the bottoms are a tourniquet at my mid-thigh). Anyway, the doctor FINALLY gets in there and measures my belly. How far are you?? She pokes my belly some more, then looks at my chart... Then back to the belly. Turns out, I'm measuring about 2 weeks farther along that I say that I am. We're waiting until the ultrasound to find out why... but I was slightly freaked out. I possibly missed a whole 2 weeks?!? After talking to some friends, they assured me that it was normal. I'm alright now, but everything I read online about women who measured large was like... "I measured 2 weeks ahead and had a 40 pound baby!" HOLY $%&*^#! (ok, so maybe not 40, but there were several 11-13 pounders documented).

So, anyway, I'm large... and for the sake of my sanity and my physical being I'm praying that I'm not on the path to birth a 2-year old. Oy vey!

I get it....

2007-09-17T00:26:00.000-05:00

Sometimes on ESPN, or other sports-related news media... people will talk about how obnoxious and rude OU fans are... I, who consider myself an OU fan, would normally get mildly offended and wonder what the heck they were talking about. Oklahoma is a friendly place full of good 'ole boys! I've been to several OU football games (although none in Norman since before 2000, until Saturday) and a couple of basketball games and have found none of these so called "obnoxious" fans. Sure, there are students who paint their bellies and loudly scream the fight song, but what college doesn't have that? So, I would tell those OU fan bashers they didn't know what they were talking about.... until Saturday...

*I will preface all of this by saying that I'm a girl, normally I love football games, when it's cool outside... I don't like being sweaty and hot... I have a low tolerance for stupid people... and I'm pregnant and generally gripey*

Once we trekked 3 miles to the stadium and we got to our seats... It was nice... my happiness scale was sitting at a 8. Once I had nachos and a coke... it hit a solid 9. All is going well, I'm enjoying nachos and a soda... pre-game is going on... Ryan has someone there to talk "technical sports talk" with. This is great... the seats aren't crowded, there is even a breeze. Hooray for football!

Then, seconds before kickoff... a large man comes up the stadium stairs. I saw him coming rows away... and I know his seat is the empty one to my left. The only problem is, our row is completely filled except for this one seat, and people have already spaced out. This empty seat is almost completely filled by my empty nacho boat... and this man is MUCH larger than a nacho boat.
Large man squeezes down the row... and then he sits, partly on my left leg. I scoot over towards Ryan where I am practically sitting on him now. There's only one thing I hate worse than being sweaty... being sweaty and TOUCHING someone... now I'm being touched on both sides. (this I only blame on the university for wanting to cram so many people in the stadium... that, and America's obesity problem.)
Wait... something smells.... It's the big man! What is that smell... obviously, BO.... and..... Band-aids?!? Does he have some big injury and a dislike for deodorant?? Oh wait.... something else.... pork rinds!! BO, pork-rinds, and band-aids. GAG ME!!
About 6 minutes into the first quarter, Big man decides to put his hands on the bleacher... except there's no room on the bleacher... so he's touching my butt!! This lasts for entirely TOO long and makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I say something to Ryan about big man touching my butt, and he just laughs and goes back to the game.

Then, Roseanne Barr's "voice twins" sister (who apparently is an avid OU fan) is sitting behind and to my left. All she yells is "Defense, stop it right now!" OVER and OVER. If you replaced Defense with Darlene, I could have sworn someone was watching Roseanne reruns. Much to my surprise, she switched up her yell in the 3rd quarter by replacing every 6th "Defense, stop it right now!" to "SackHimSackHimSackHimSackHimSackHim". I swear, she sounded exactly like Roseanne, but 35139 time louder. It was ridiculous!!

Then directly behind me was a family that walked right out of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. They were absolutely WT and had the worst accents I've ever heard! I can't even sum up everything they said that was absolutely ridiculous, but here's a few quotes...

From the mom to the daughter (who was blonde, yet had dreadlocks that looked like she had slept in them for a month...all frizzy and falling out): "See thar.... that's why yous need to say in gymnastics... so you can be one of those cheerleaders flippin' around out thar."

Dad to son EVERY PLAY: Watch 'is son... thar's gonna be a touchdown/intercept'en (depending on who had the ball) I ken fill it.

Mom on cell phone: I sencha a pitcher of the feld with the players on it... I can't hear ya.... I can't hear ya.... I can't hear ya...

(The best one of the night) Dad to family: Babe, sister, son... any of ya want any of this coke fore I put whiskey in it?
(alcohol is banned at all big 12 stadiums, just FYI... apparently not from a flask hidden in your overall pockets, though)

So all of this went on... coupled with the pregame "welcome to the visiting team" that you couldn't even hear because everyone was booing so loud.

I have to say... it was nice to see a game in Norman since OU has been, well, ranked. The last time I went to a game at Norman I think there were somewhere around 20,000 in attendance and it was "Pre-Stoops". At Saturday's game the attendance was 85,000. I enjoyed the OU games more in Waco or College Stadium where the seats weren't as crowded and I think it was later in the year, so it was nicer weather. I managed to get a sun burn, so that stinks, but I found our way back to the car (quite the feat).

I could totally see how OU fans would be coined rude or obnoxious. I definitely saw obnoxious... and if the boos were that loud for a no-name team, I can only imagine how it gets during conference play. Sadly, I don't think it's the students that are the rude ones... You could almost write that off as being young and immature... But I see the older (probably not even alumni) fans as being the rude, obnoxious ones. (Prime example being the testicle guy...) I'm not saying that being a fan when you're not a student/alumni is bad... I'm a fan and not an alumni. (I went to a no-name school where our football record was like 2-8 and our claim to fame is one of the guys from the Friday Night lights movie played there.) I just think it's ridiculous to be so fanatical about a school you don't have any ties to, other than you like their football team.

Anyway, I'm still an OU fan... just one that watches the games from home.

The dog ate my homework!!

2007-08-29T22:56:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I'm sitting at home, helping Ryan grade some papers. Chimi was lounging on his favorite cushion when I look over and notice him licking a couple of the papers. So, I swat at him and he stops and goes back to his toy. Next thing I know, I look over and he is now nibbling on the corner of a couple of the pages. I swat at him, yell "NO", and he stops. I watch him and not two seconds later he is back in the papers again. What is odd about this is there is a magazine, a folder and other "paper products" on the couch. I think this begs the question...

Do dogs have a natural taste for homework?? Could the old, tired excuse actually be true? Do dogs like to eat homework?

"Homework is my favorite food!!"

2007-08-27T22:13:00.000-05:00

Today I experienced something I've never experienced before in my life...

Indentions on my shoulders from my bra straps.

God Bless you, pregnancy boobs, God Bless you!

Expecting, but not...

2007-08-12T01:49:00.000-05:00

The list of unexpected experiences in my life seems to grow daily with the biggest "unexpected" being the baby in my belly! With that surprise came the biggest surprise of all... what pregnancy is really like. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.

Morning sickness, what a misnomer! More like all day and night sickness! Maybe husbands made up the name morning sickness to make pregnant women feel guilty for complaining past noon. Perhaps the saddest part of all is that my current queasy existence has caused grocery shopping and seeing certain commercials to become a gut wrenching experience. Even sadder still is the list of foods that have become "untouchables".

Macaroni and Cheese - Yes, for those of you who know me well, know that I"m a big fan of the blue box. Maybe it's because my family made Velveeta shells and cheese when I was a child and I suffer from a powered cheese product deficiency, but normally, I can't get enough of the stuff. Now, I look at it and gag.
Onions - usually delicious, now, even a sliver disgusts me.
Pizza - Now pizza, I was not giving up without a fight. In fact, I've had it 3 times since being preggers, and it's never stayed in my tummy for long. It's depressing, really!

Where's the pregnancy glow? Unless the glow is greenish, I don't think I've made it there yet. Because of the sickies, I've lost between 9 - 11 lbs according to our scale at home (depending on the time of day I weigh). However, the weird thing is, I can't tell I've lost ANY weight. If anything, my pants are tighter, my shirts fit about the same. So where is this missing weight coming from? Strange!

At least at this stage RG gets a perk... I don't complain about him leaving the seat up. In fact, it's kind of courteous because it's one less thing I have to do between kneeling and holding my hair back.

Growing Pains and Spaghetti-o Stains

2011

Word to the wise...

Lessons in self-esteem

String of thoughts...

Drink FAIL

Commitment: FAIL

Oopsie!

Make Me Laugh Monday

What would yours say?

Make Me Laugh Monday

Where am I??

The conclusion of pregnant in law school.

Diaper Days

Make me laugh Monday

The story continues...

Story Time!

Just in case some one reads this besides my mom...

Resolutions for Type-A people

Living in the boonies has it's drawbacks...

Sorry Mike...

Mike Morgan is a drama queen.

Saving you the embarrassment...

A is for Apple

The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear...

About time...

Dang it...

It's like real life Etsy!!

Halloween pictures are forth coming...

Jealous????

Momma, was I two when I was born??

Dear Oklahoma Wind:

Warning: Domestic Deliriousness Ahead

I'm crazy brown, furry, animal... gimme some CANDY!

Under Construction...

Serrrriously....

Chh Chhh Chhh Changes

Follow me... *insert Uncle Craker song here*

Tagged...

Don't sell your sole to the devil...

Just forward my next 3 paychecks to Target...

To You and Yours...

Sneak Peek!

Crazy Legs McGee

Some Light Dinner Conversation...

My little stinker...

Can I get an opinion?

In case you haven't heard...

Avery Update

Gimmie Nuggies!

Avery loves the Olympics

I'm with him...

Aunt TT tells the best secrets

Holy *ding*!!

Because RG and HG are great at being awsome!!

A new low...

Quick update!

Large and in charge

I get it....

The dog ate my homework!!

Expecting, but not...

Follow me... insert Uncle Craker song here

Holy ding!!