Thursday, September 30, 2010

Word to the wise...

Avery, while a big fan of whole bananas, absolutely detests half bananas. 

It is easy to peel a banana, but impossible to wrap it back up.  

Even if you husband has assured you that your outfit is both office and age appropriate, you will misinterpret looks from others all day.  

Leggings will always make me think of 1980s maternity wear. 

When in doubt about your outfit of choice, try to stand near to someone wearing overalls.  You will always look better than someone in overalls. 

A person in overalls is a rare find today.  Be sure to take full advantage.   

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Lessons in self-esteem

Avery:  (while pointing to a prominent stretch mark on my hip/thigh)  Mommy, Wha ooze dat??
Me:   Nothing, but thank you for reminding me not to cross my legs while wearing shorts. 
A:  Huh? 
M:  Nothing
A:  Wha ooze dat? 
M:  A sign that I'm a good mother
A:  Huh?   
M:  Nothing
A:   Stank? 
M:  No, that's not a snake!  
A:  Oh...  (long pause)     Worm???

If you need me I'll be throwing out every pair of shorts that I own...