Thursday, September 30, 2010

Word to the wise...

Avery, while a big fan of whole bananas, absolutely detests half bananas. 

It is easy to peel a banana, but impossible to wrap it back up.  

Even if you husband has assured you that your outfit is both office and age appropriate, you will misinterpret looks from others all day.  

Leggings will always make me think of 1980s maternity wear. 

When in doubt about your outfit of choice, try to stand near to someone wearing overalls.  You will always look better than someone in overalls. 

A person in overalls is a rare find today.  Be sure to take full advantage.   

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Lessons in self-esteem

Avery:  (while pointing to a prominent stretch mark on my hip/thigh)  Mommy, Wha ooze dat??
Me:   Nothing, but thank you for reminding me not to cross my legs while wearing shorts. 
A:  Huh? 
M:  Nothing
A:  Wha ooze dat? 
M:  A sign that I'm a good mother
A:  Huh?   
M:  Nothing
A:   Stank? 
M:  No, that's not a snake!  
A:  Oh...  (long pause)     Worm???

If you need me I'll be throwing out every pair of shorts that I own... 

Monday, August 9, 2010

String of thoughts...

Tonight, while eating dinner, I described the texture of my pasta as being play-doh-y.   RG felt it necessary to point out that that I didn't really need the "play" prefix.   Rude.  True, but rude. 

I guess that mere seconds before I made that comment, it hadn't occurred to me that "doughy" is indeed, a word. 

Less than an hour after making said rude comment, RG was struck with a fever. 

I have friends in high places. 

Or maybe the fever is because everyone else in our house except RG has had a fever.  

Even the bouncy cow. 

The Grammercy Chair from Ballard Designs rocks my world. 

Subway art is over done, there I said it.  

When RG's clothes are in the dryer, it sounds like something is fighting for its life in there.   

Speaking of fighting for your life, there was a wasp in the revolving door at my office last week.   Leaving for the day was like playing bee sting roulette. 

I really don't like bees.  or any bugs for that matter.  

Snakes count as a bug.  So do spiders. 

One of those is obviously more logical than the other one.  

I'll let you decide for yourself which one. 

If you can't decide, maybe we shouldn't be friends. 

Or maybe we should... 

I'll be the smart friend. 

Time to distribute the Tylenol. 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Commitment: FAIL

2 weeks in a row, no Make Me Laugh Monday...  I have no excuse except maybe I forgot it was Monday, but I don't know that you can actually FORGET that you weekend is ending and it's back to the grind...

BUT, here is something (someone, rather) who makes me laugh everyday.  RG   This post in particular cracked me up, because it was an actual event.     I just saw a mythical creature!   Here's a scene from the car leading up to the event:

RG:  Oh my!
Me:  What?
RG:  You need to slow down
Me:  *scanning the road for police/speed traps*  Why?  I'm not going THAT fast...
RG:   No no no no no... Slow down and look into this car you just passed.  There's like a Cockatoo or something driving. 
Me:  What?!?  I'm not slowing down... They're going like 10 under.
RG:  Do it, Do it.  You won't be sorry....

And he was right... I wasn't... and we had a laugh for the rest of the day. 

Friday, February 26, 2010


 I missed Make me Laugh Monday because I've been a little under the weather.  I've had a flu-ish sickness that I just can't seem to get rid of... bummer.   Sometimes my sneezes scare Avery, like this...

Anywho, I'll be back with some more news and a working link to Avery's birth story. (oopsie again!)   I'm off to make a TP scarf.  AAAACHHHOOO!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Make Me Laugh Monday

Agggh... These next 2 weeks already have my stress-level through the roof.   Yeesh... I don't want to think about it.   Let's laugh instead!! 

There's a pretty good chance that since we all were children in the 80s, looking at this website is a little bit scary.   Scary in that, one of OUR family photos could easily be on this site.  True Story.

Here is my recent fave. 


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What would yours say?

A friend sent me this link today.  
I actually haven't made it through the entire video because I have to keep stopping it.
Clients probably wouldn't appreciate if I cried on their documents.
I also saw that Kelly had a post on her blog where she shared her own "Cardboard Testimony".

Monday, February 8, 2010

Make Me Laugh Monday

Holy Moly!   I almost forgot my commitment.   That would have been my shortest relationship EVER.  

Unless you count the boy in 5th grade who broke up with me after 3 days for couple skating with someone else at PTA Roller Rink night... 

Elementary School Drama! 

*somewhere in the future, 16-year-old Avery is extremely embarrassed* 

Bring on the Funnies!!

Where am I??

Sometimes I get the feeling that I fell asleep and work up in the Artic Circle...

This morning, woke up to snow... AGAIN.  

Seriously, 3rd Winter Storm in 45 days.   At least it's not supposed to get as bad as last time...

Some people are going on 2 weeks without power. 

I'd like to get my hands on that little Groundhog.  

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The conclusion of pregnant in law school.

I really struggled with not having a clever title for this series of stories. I briefly considered some, but Junior and Juris seemed like too much of a stretch, so I give up.

If you wanna read it, here's the rest of the story.  Part 1 and Part 2

Going back to school after summer break has always been a whirl of emotions. As a kid I can remember not sleeping the night before because I was nervous/excited. Who would be in my class? What am I going to wear? Did I get enough folders for my trapper keeper? I’d always have butterflies in my tummy the first day of school. Going back into my last year of law school was like that, except instead of butterflies, there was a baby. And I didn’t have an awesome trapper keeper.

I decided before I headed back to school that I wasn’t going to tell anyone until I was bigger than a breadbox. I didn’t want anyone to judge. Looking back, I’m not really sure why I thought it was a big deal to keep it secret. I didn’t want professors/classmates think that I did not care about my education, or my grades, or my future career. I wanted people to take me seriously, both as a mother AND as a future attorney.

Keeping baby a secret was hard. Morning sickness was ALMOST done, but I still went to the bathroom a little too often. I’d also developed a habit of not wearing makeup on days I felt subpar. Friends noticed, I told them, and before long, being knocked-up wasn’t so hush-hush.
One day, while waiting for class, “Jane” came up to me in the hallway. “Jane” was known for speaking without a filter.

J: Heard you were pregnant
M: Yes, I am
J: *blank stare*
J: So…. Are you actually going to keep it?
M: *thinking did you REALLY just ask that* Yes..
J: AND still go to school
M: Yes
J: Oh… *look of disapproval*

And with that she walked off. This was still early on in the semester and I thought. Please God… if I get much more of that, I’m going to end up bawling right here in the hallway. To make matters worse, I was convinced that was going to be the feeling of 99% of my classmates.
Not 20 minutes after the “Jane” encounter, someone came up to me and said that “Holly” was also pregnant. “Holly” was also in her last year and not only that, we were in the same study group. I immediately hunted her down to confirm, and we both expressed relief that we weren’t “alone”. There may have been a tiny happy dance in there as well, I can’t be sure.

The semester went on, and I did not tell any of my professors what was going on. By Christmas, I was starting to get a belly, but I just wore bigger sweatshirts. No one said a word. When class started after Christmas, I couldn’t hide the belly much anymore, so I wrote an email to my professors. I got 3 “Congratulations!” and only 1 “I don’t care.”

The day before I was scheduled to be induced, I told my small Estate Planning class (8 people) that I wouldn’t be in class the next week because I was going to have a baby. THREE (all guys, I might add) looked at me in disbelief and said, I didn’t even know you were pregnant. Dude… I’m as big as a house. Really? No idea? Me being the huge preggo found it flattering and the whole class expressed Congratulations.

Avery's Birth Story

To be honest, aside from the “Jane encounter” and the indifference of one professor, the law school community welcomed my pregnancy with open arms. My fear was far and away the worst part of it all. 99.9% of everyone was genuinely happy for me (or, apparently, didn't notice.) Even though I started out thinking that this was the absolute WORST time to have a baby, it ended up being the ABSOLUTE BEST time to welcome baby Avery into our family.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Diaper Days

Two posts in one day?!?!   Don't worry, you didn't miss the rapture!    

I thought I'd pass this along to all my fellow mommies.  

What if I told you that you could get $50 worth of diapers for $25?  Crazy right?? is having a crazy deal right now and here's how you join the crazy diaper party...

1. Go to  (DUH)
2. Buy $50 worth of anything on the site - get free shipping.  This means everything, diapers, formula, clothes, toys, books, etc
3.  Enter code DIAPY313 during checkout and get an additional $10 off your order. 
4.  Print, fill in, and mail this rebate form .   Pay attention to the instructions. You can either receive a free Parenting magazine subscription OR a $14.97 rebate. 

That brings your grand total of savings to $24.97.   I bought 100 diapers and a couple of diaper genie refills for right at $30.   Pampers at Wal-Mart WITH a coupon aren't even that cheap.  Trust me, I've spreadsheeted it.   

*cue the tumbleweed* 

What you guys don't spreadsheet your grocery expenses and savings?? 

Oh, me neither....  

YAY Cheap Diapers!

Make me laugh Monday

Those of you who know me in real life know that I've been in a funk for quite some time.  I decided to post something that makes me laugh every Monday because, ya know, Monday can be a big fat downer most of the time.  Here goes my attempt at making a weekly commitment to the blog.  

Commitment makes me nervous... my hands are sweaty just thinking about it.... 

This one is WAY too long, but just watch the first 30 seconds or so.  

*I will finish my law school baby story soon!  Promise!    

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The story continues...

It should be noted that the husband and I aren’t much for talking on the phone in the first place, but it’s even worse when I’m trying not to break the news and keep it secret for another 8 days:

Husband: Hi!

Me: Hi!

H: Have you been crying?

M: *putting on my best I wasn’t crying/sleeping voice* Nope. Just sittin’ here doing nothing.

H: Oh… Ok

M: How was your day? What did you do?

H: Oh, ya know, stuff and things…

M: fun

H: yeah. Sure nothing is wrong?

M: *choking back tears* Yep. Every thing is fine.

And so went the basic conversation over the next week. It was tortuous. Not that I didn’t want to hear from Husband every night, but every time I talked to him, I had to keep my mouth shut.

After the longest 8 days of my life, I went to pick up RG at the airport. I was afraid I was going to let it lose, right there at the baggage claim, but there was enough hustle and bustle to distract RG from noticing I hadn’t said much more than Hi. Thankfully RG gushed about his trip from the terminal, to the parking lot, and the entire way home, so I didn’t have to say anything… yet. I had a plan.

Our 2nd Anniversary passed while RG was on his trip. I’m kooky and follow the “traditional” anniversary gifts. (Hey, I worked at Hallmark in college, give me a break.) Anyway, 2nd Anniversary is cotton: He brought me back a t-shirt and I had bought a Red Sox onesie and wrapped it in a little box:

Husband: *opens box and gets a confused look on his face, like “this is SO not going to fit”*

M: *stares at husband, like… say something*

H: It’s a baby costume…?

M: yeah

H: ….

M: ……

H: Do we NEED a baby costume?

M: yeah… *cue the bawling*

Husband was super excited and came over and gave me the biggest hug ever. I honestly think at that moment, I subconsciously knew everything would work out. He didn’t even notice that he didn’t ACTUALLY get an anniversary present. (I may be calling his attention to that now…Oops!)

The day after I found out I was with child, I had to go back to work. At this time, I worked with two of my best friends, Josh and Danielle. It’s great working with friends, but hard to hide ANYTHING. At this point, morning sickness was pretty much all day sickness. The “something’s wrong with Heather” rumor started pretty quickly… I was constantly running to the bathroom. I didn’t go to lunch with anyone anymore. And I dropped 11 lbs in 6 weeks. I’m pretty sure they all thought I was bulimic.

Sometime before school started in August, I went to Red Robin for lunch with Danielle and Josh. I LOVE the burger with a fried egg on it, so Duh, that’s what I order. I realize as soon as it arrives at the table that this was the wrong decision. There is no way I can eat this without barfing in Danielle’s car on the way back to the office. I resort to cutting the burger into 4ths and end up eating half of a 4th of the burger. (And further adding to the eating disorder rumors.) At this point, Josh, who introduced me to the aforementioned delicious burger, is staring at me in disbelief, and Danielle is also giving me a funny look. I know I have to come clean. I tell them the news, expecting them to ask me what I am thinking because they’re both in school with me. But instead, quite the opposite… there are congrats and hugs all around. Danielle is excited and as a mom of 2 (now 3!) herself, starting discussing all things baby, and Josh was just relieved that he didn’t have to shove the rest of the burger down my throat.

We had already told both sets of parents who we knew would be, and were, OVER THE MOON about the first grandbaby on both sides. The cat was out of the bag… and it was well received… much more so than I had ever imagined…

More to come….

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Story Time!

Ever notice that my blog goes from me being 5 months pregnant, to me being a mother of a 2 month old?   That period of time was extremely stressful, yet an incredibly rewarding time of my life. I'm going to write some of it, but in small parts, because, no one likes scrolling to read a blog post!  A recent email from a friend has prompted me to share this with you, and offer some encouragement to her, as she is in a similar situation.   God's timing is perfect.

Although, most of the time... it doesn't feel perfect.

Part 1: The begining...

July 2007. I can't believe the husband is taking a trip and leaving me "on the farm" for 2 weeks by myself. Up until this point the husband and I have spent no more than a night apart, so 2 weeks may as well been years. I had also recently been chased by a vicious pig (another story for another time) and was a little afraid of staying by myself. I dropped him off at the airport on ridiculously early on Saturday and hurried home to take a nap with Chimichanga (our Chihuahua).

Late that night there was an incredible lightening storm that created a strobe-light effect that made our bedroom look more like Studio 54. I was not doing the robot or any other dance, because I spent the night blowing groceries in the bathroom. (Trust me, I considered several different ways to say that, but that one won out.) Geez... I must of eaten something bad. Half a box of pepto and 3 hours later, I'm asleep.

The next afternoon, I go out to give Swashbuckler (buck) our lab some dog food. (yes, we have strange pet names, what of it). Buck is rather... rambunctious.... And just when I grab his collar, I realize it's too lose and he ducks out of the collar and takes off down the street. After chasing him almost a mile in flip flops, I catch him, collar him and drag him home. I get in the house and immediately start bawling. I’m talkin’ full-blown, ugly cry. What?? Why am I crying?, I ask myself. Am I so out of shape that physical exertion breaks me down? Do I miss the husband this bad after only 36 hours? Am I pregnant?

WHAT?? Where did that last question come from? I didn't seriously think that, did I? Before I can even comprehend where that thought would come from, I’m taking a pregnancy test. While “testing” I’m reading the directions… Ok, so I set it down and check it in 5 minutes. I look at the test, and IMMEDIATELY get 2 lines. That must be wrong, I think. I’ll take a shower and come back in 5 minutes like it says. Shower, still 2 lines… Pace the house, yep, still 2 lines.

What am I doing? I mean, I want babies someday, but now? Going into my last year of law school? That's stressful enough  by itself, but childbirth thrown in the mix?? How on earth am I going to do this? Surely this is a mistake… I’m reading this incorrectly. 3 hours, a gallon of water, and 3 “word tests” later… Pregnant, Pregnant, Pregnant.
God will never give you more than you can handle, I chanted over and over to myself while frantically searching Google for “pregnant in law school”. Turns out, this HAD happened before (even though I felt totally alone). There were varied opinions from students between, “this was the best time to have a baby”, to “I dropped out and never went back. My half-empty attitude kicked in, I’ve just wasted 2 years and thousands of dollars. Law school was definitely not a highlight of my life, so I knew that if I dropped out, I would never go back.  Anyone who said this was the best time to have a baby was clearly delusional, or independently wealthy, I reasoned. To make matters worse, to co-producer of the baby now in my belly was 2 time zones away, and this isn’t exactly the kind of news you break over the phone.

To be continued….

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Just in case some one reads this besides my mom...

Leave a comment, ask a question, let me know you're out there so I can read your blog too!

P.S. Hi Mom!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Resolutions for Type-A people

I'm a weird complex individual...
If you saw the state of my house right now.. the mounds of laundry... the toys haphazardly tossed about the living room (maybe a few in the toy box), you might call me a slob; or, if you were nicer "extremely laid back".
If you saw my planner, with appointments and tasks scheduled down the half hour, you might call me meticulous; or if you were meaner, anal.
I think it drives the husband crazy that I’m a mixture of the two extremes. I may leave a pair of jeans in the closet floor for a week, but the world might come crashing down if the green beans are in the wrong place in the pantry. (Ok, maybe I’m not THAT complex… but you get the idea.)
I can never stick with New Years resolutions because they’re too ‘abstract’ for me. There are no deadlines, no consequences… they’re just a little too slack for me. So, I was excited when I came across this…
101 Goals in 1001 Days
Goals with deadlines… complete with a brainstorming ideas and print outs… Be still my list-making heart!!

If you’re like me and can’t function without a to-do list, you might want to check it out. You can even make rewards/consequences for meeting/not meeting all your goals.
I’m still in the process of making my list and plan to start my 1001 days later this week. I haven’t decided whether I’ll post my list, I guess it depends on how personal it gets. HA! Maybe I’ll add “ease up about the green beans” to the list… Husband would probably appreciate it.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Living in the boonies has it's drawbacks...

Like, super slow internet connection.  Yes, it's awful.  *throws pity party*

I was doing a year end/Christmas post and I went to upload the first picture...

5 minutes later, still uploading.....

I go get a snack, still uploading...

I eat a snack, still uploading....

I throw a snack at the computer, still uploading...

I go to put a snack away, TIMED OUT! 

How Rude!

So, I'm planning on putting some of the pics on my flash drive and posting them on my lunch break.   

Speaking of snacks... here are some of my favie snacks while you wait for the glorious aforementioned post.

This one is from my momma.  I insist she make this at every family gathering.  Last time she sent some home with us, I ate it before poor RG even got a taste!
Cranberry Jalapeno Dip

1 (12-ounce bag) or 3 cups fresh cranberries, rinsed and drained
3 small jalapeno chile peppers, cored, seeded and minced
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves, minced
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese

Rinse, drain, and pick over cranberries, (discarding all that are soft or bruised). Place them in a food processor; pulse until finely chopped but not mushy.
Place crushed cranberries in a bowl; mix together with  jalapeno peppers, sugar, cilantro leaves. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 4 hours so flavors develop (This is important... if you try and eat it now... it's supa soua!)
If you're Ryan: On a serving plate, place cream cheese; cover with the dip.  Serve with Wheat Thins.  Act prim and proper.
If you're me:  Place softened cream cheese in a bowl.  Dump that cran-peno goodness on top.  Stir it all together until it looks like pink mush. Eat a ridiculous amount of delicious pink mush on each Wheat thin.  Don't leave any for husbands. 

This next recipe I made for some Christmas goodies.  I made 5 goodies in one night... then, as if on cue, AG woke up and sprayed spaghettio's all around her room. That was a SUPER long night. (Puts a whole new meaning behind the blog name, huh) Ok now, who's hungry?!?!
Spicy Pretzels

15 oz Bag of Small Pretzels
3/4 c. Canola or Vegetable Oil
1 pkg Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
2 tsp Cayenne Pepper*
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1.5 tsp Lemon Pepper

*You can add another teaspoon of cayenne pepper if you'd like your pretzels REALLY hot. Or, you can scale it back.  I have to admit, I made these with 2tsp, and it melted my face off, but they were still really good.  I'll do 1.5tsp next time.  You could also omit it all together and I think they'd still be delicious. 
Mix together seasoning and oil. Place pretzels in large ziploc bag (the gallon size works for one batch), add seasoning mix, and toss periodically for 12-24 hours before serving.

Happy Snackin'!