Ever notice that my blog goes from me being 5 months pregnant, to me being a mother of a 2 month old? That period of time was extremely stressful, yet an incredibly rewarding time of my life. I'm going to write some of it, but in small parts, because, no one likes scrolling to read a blog post! A recent email from a friend has prompted me to share this with you, and offer some encouragement to her, as she is in a similar situation. God's timing is perfect.
Although, most of the time... it doesn't feel perfect.
Part 1: The begining...
July 2007. I can't believe the husband is taking a trip and leaving me "on the farm" for 2 weeks by myself. Up until this point the husband and I have spent no more than a night apart, so 2 weeks may as well been years. I had also recently been chased by a vicious pig (another story for another time) and was a little afraid of staying by myself. I dropped him off at the airport on ridiculously early on Saturday and hurried home to take a nap with Chimichanga (our Chihuahua).
Late that night there was an incredible lightening storm that created a strobe-light effect that made our bedroom look more like Studio 54. I was not doing the robot or any other dance, because I spent the night blowing groceries in the bathroom. (Trust me, I considered several different ways to say that, but that one won out.) Geez... I must of eaten something bad. Half a box of pepto and 3 hours later, I'm asleep.
The next afternoon, I go out to give Swashbuckler (buck) our lab some dog food. (yes, we have strange pet names, what of it). Buck is rather... rambunctious.... And just when I grab his collar, I realize it's too lose and he ducks out of the collar and takes off down the street. After chasing him almost a mile in flip flops, I catch him, collar him and drag him home. I get in the house and immediately start bawling. I’m talkin’ full-blown, ugly cry. What?? Why am I crying?, I ask myself. Am I so out of shape that physical exertion breaks me down? Do I miss the husband this bad after only 36 hours? Am I pregnant?
WHAT?? Where did that last question come from? I didn't seriously think that, did I? Before I can even comprehend where that thought would come from, I’m taking a pregnancy test. While “testing” I’m reading the directions… Ok, so I set it down and check it in 5 minutes. I look at the test, and IMMEDIATELY get 2 lines. That must be wrong, I think. I’ll take a shower and come back in 5 minutes like it says. Shower, still 2 lines… Pace the house, yep, still 2 lines.
What am I doing? I mean, I want babies someday, but now? Going into my last year of law school? That's stressful enough by itself, but childbirth thrown in the mix?? How on earth am I going to do this? Surely this is a mistake… I’m reading this incorrectly. 3 hours, a gallon of water, and 3 “word tests” later… Pregnant, Pregnant, Pregnant.
God will never give you more than you can handle, I chanted over and over to myself while frantically searching Google for “pregnant in law school”. Turns out, this HAD happened before (even though I felt totally alone). There were varied opinions from students between, “this was the best time to have a baby”, to “I dropped out and never went back. My half-empty attitude kicked in, I’ve just wasted 2 years and thousands of dollars. Law school was definitely not a highlight of my life, so I knew that if I dropped out, I would never go back. Anyone who said this was the best time to have a baby was clearly delusional, or independently wealthy, I reasoned. To make matters worse, to co-producer of the baby now in my belly was 2 time zones away, and this isn’t exactly the kind of news you break over the phone.
To be continued….