Dear Oklahoma Wind:

Ok, I know you've got a reputation to uphold.  What, with being included in the first line of the state song, I realize you've got some pretty big shoes to fill.   I honestly don't mind you "sweeping down the plain" (preferably on days that I am not wearing a skirt) on occasion.   Sometimes you even help relieve some of the outrageous summer heat.  But let's be honest...

You're not a tornado
You're not a hurricane

Could you please stop pretending to be something you're not?  I realize that other wind related disasters get all the press and maybe you're just starved for attention, but seriously, the gale force winds for days on end have got to stop.  Making my car door almost impossible to open and threatening to strew the contents of my file folder across the city is completely unacceptable.  Also, "rats nest" is not a hairstyle I'm particularly fond of, so if you could leave my hair alone as well, I'd be much obliged. 

Once you calm down, I'd be happy to discuss the possiblity of potraying you in a better light, as a producer of energy, rather than a wrecker of semis and high-profile vehicles.  

Thank you for your attention to this matter and I hope to hear less from you soon.

Warning: Domestic Deliriousness Ahead

I love to cook.  (Mom, you can get up off the floor now.  I know you thought I'd never say that. Also, this doesn't mean that I want you to stop bringing me those delicious peanut butter things when you visit! Just so we're clear.)

It's true...  I went from living off of a diet of sandwiches and cereal in college to becoming a full on Suzy Homemaker.  I've gotten better at it too, especially compared to a rather unfortunate Broccoli Beef incident about 4 years ago that I don't think my husband will ever let me live down. 

One thing I DON'T like about cooking, is weeknight cooking.  When I don't get home until 6ish and Avery goes to bed at 8pm, I'd rather spend every second of those two hours trying to get a slobbery kiss, not making dinner.  I try my best to have quick dinners or cook on the weekends and have leftovers M-F. 

That's why when I stumbled across this blog, I almost peed myself with excitement. 

Crock Pot Mania

This WONDERFUL woman cooked in her crockpot everyday... for A YEAR.

A. YEAR.

And then she shared all of her recipes on her blog, so that blog stalkers busy moms like me can "borrow" them.  The recipes are really diverse too!  Not just Roast and other typical crockpot meals.  The Mongolian Beef is calling my name because I haven't had the Chang since the Hatches moved back west.  I will have to make it soon.  Now, because of this fantastic blog, I will be adding much slow-cooking goodness to my arsenal.  And sneaking in a few more slobbery kisses. 

Check it! 

I'm crazy brown, furry, animal... gimme some CANDY!

Something to note about me:  I either do things incredibly early... or never.  Case in point:  I bought Avery's 1st Christmas ornament in AUGUST, but waited around so long that the only Christmas decor that made it up in the house was our tree.  I can't remember when we actually put it up, but it was late enough that I didn't bother to put up any other decorations because I didn't want to repack them in a week.  

It should come as no surprise that I'm already freakin' out about halloween costumes.  The problem is, I live in Oklahoma.  You never know whether it's going to be 40 or 80 on Halloween until October 30, and even then, it's a crapshoot.   I thought surely that when I bought My little stinker's costume last year that it would be chilly enough to wear fleece.  I was sorely mistaken.  It was 80 last year, and poor A spent a sweaty half-hour at most in that costume.  She later ended up pantless, in a church, wearing a onesie with a devil on it, but that's a different post entirely. 

Not wanting to shell out much money for a costume that may or may not be worn, I've been browsing ebay.  There were plenty of costumes, from princesses to peacocks, and some for less than $10.  I came across a posting for a rare brown, furry animal costume.  I thought, "oh, come on now.... at least make a guess as to what it is. How can you not know what kind of animal a costume is?"  Short ears = bear,  long ears = dog,  no ears = gopher.  But DangIt, if it was a marketing ploy, it worked.  Putting "RARE" in the title with no accurate description of what kind of animal it may be sucked me in.  I had to see the costume.   What if it were a sasquatch costume?  Now, THAT would be rare, for sure. 

Well, there is no "head" to the costume.  I looked at the picture of the body and instinctively thought, Duh, that's a bear!  And then saw the picture of the back of the costume... A bear with a horse? tail?   What WAS that?  A horse, a bear, some mythical creature I don't even know about?     Maybe "furry, brown animal" wasn't such a bad description after all. 

What do YOU think that is?  

Under Construction...

The ole blog needs a major overhaul. But seeing as how I'm incredibly lazy no good with html, it's going to take a little more time.

Here's a brief run-down of whats new:
- my 3 month unemployment streak finally ended at the beginning of September. We will still be on a diet of ramen and crackers for the next 6 months to catch up on past due bills. We're also accepting all dinner, wedding, and other invitations at which there will be "heavy hors d'oeuvres" served. Just FYI
- I joined a firm in Husband's hometown. The inlaws live here and in some instances my name proceeds me. (which in all cases has been a good thing). I'll have to do my best to protect the family reputation and not become an In-law-out-law-at-law.
- The commute is much better. Same distance, but I shave at least 30 minutes off of the commute time. I actually have to worry about the possibility of speeding tickets.
- I do miss the city though. I miss the lunch friends and I hate being far away from A's daycare. But honestly, more than a few feet away is too far to be from this:

Serrrriously....

I know this blog needs some major updating... The headline no longer applies, the picture is almost a year and a half old, etc. etc. I have plans on doing a major blog overhaul sometime in the near future. (It should also be noted that I had plans to clean my house, top-to-bottom, while I was unemployed. I vacuumed and did some laundry. Close enough.) So, we'll see. Also, does that mean I'm no longer unemployed??? Stay tuned...

I wanted to post this link to a spectacular blog post I came across. It totally makes me want to bring my sewing skills up to par before Avery gets older.

http://pamily.blogspot.com/2009/08/fall-collection-in-progress.html

I mean, does it get anymore adorable than that?!? LOVE IT!

Chh Chhh Chhh Changes

My life is currently undergoing (or, is hoping to undergo?) some major changes. I know it's been a month+ since I have blogged, but I will return.... in time... with some blog worthy news.

Don't worry, I'm pretty good about reading your blogs... just not updating my own!

Follow me... *insert Uncle Craker song here*

So, I'm finally on twitter... Although, I'm no better at twitter than I am at blogging...

http://twitter.com/silentgharde

Tagged...

So, I was "tagged" to go to the 4th file under "my pictures" and post the 4th picture out of the 4th file...

This is a picture of my dad and I, right before he walked me down the aisle. There is just something about this picture that I love. It is one of my favorite wedding pictures.

Now, I tag everyone reading this... that's right, everyone. Lemme see your pictures, ya'll!

Don't sell your sole to the devil...

Now, I loves me some fashion, but often times it's more in theory than in practice. Heaven knows, I've ran to Wal-Mart sans makeup in sweats with hair a mess more than a few times. Heck, I even occasionally wear t-shirts to the office. Yet, I gush over the adorable dresses in fashion magazines, and watch "What-Not-To-Wear" only to turn around and commit the same sins they just scolded against. (Hey, I know that oversize hoodie is doing nothing for me.)

However, even I have boundaries... namely, my shoes.

That's right, fashion will win over function every time when it comes to my footwear. Fashion trumps comfort... In some cases fashion trumps moderate to severe discomfort.

Often times my husband watches in horror as I apply numerous band-aids to my feet to protect against the blisters that my adorable peep-toes are undoubtedly going to create. He tries to understand why I wouldn't just throw away something that causes me enough pain that I beg him not to park more than a block away from our destination. My answer is simple, These shoes are SOOO cute!

So, when I recently saw someone wearing these, I just thought... Those must be those shoes that people have to wear when one leg is longer than the other.

Then, I happened to hear the shoe wearer tell her friend, "These are my new weight-loss sneakers!"
What??? You are voluntarily wearing shoes that look like they are made for an anime cartoon character???

I don't know if it's a case of New Year's resolutions, but the influx of these shoe sightings is alarming. Today at lunch, 20% of the patrons were wearing them!! (So what if there were only 10 people in the store.) Even more alarming is that these shoes run about $250!!!!!

Ladies, $250 will buy you AT LEAST 2 nice pair of stilettos. Wear a pair of those for a day and tell me that your calves aren't killing you the next morning. Now, that's a pair of shoes that will give you a workout AND won't make you look like Herman Munster's sister.

Just forward my next 3 paychecks to Target...

I'm so excited!!! Orla Kiely is coming to Target!! She's one of my favorite designers. I had some big plans to make a bulletin board using some of her fabric and some other small projects... that was, until I found out her fabric retails for around $70.00 a YARD!!

So, imagine my delight when Target announced that her line of housewares, orginizational products, and decor will be in target stores around the first week of February. YAY!!!